Embrace the Other
Fitting in is Overrated
Let’s be honest, the playing field isn’t level. Despite the progress women have made in the workplace, the style double standard is very real in 2026.
Like many women in the tech industry, Kate MeLynda was used to being the only woman in the room. When she first began her career, she was excited about being a part of the fast-paced industry—but she was also looking forward to showing off her professional style and personal brand. She quickly learned as a woman in the male-dominated tech industry she was going to face judgement no matter what she wore.
For many women, being yourself sometimes being yourself in the workplace is complicated.
“My style choices went through a huge shift throughout my career. I was actually excited when I first started out, I did the whole pantsuit thing. I would also wear a lot of shift dresses and a blazer, maybe with a necklace. But it became difficult to be very feminine in the tech space for a variety of reasons,” she explained.
One conversation with her boss changed her perspective on how she was presenting herself in the workplace.
As the tech industry, like many industries changed and became less formal, she started to tone down her style and would wear what many consider the tech industry “uniform” of jeans and a nice top along with a blazer. Her boss one day told her that she didn’t need to “dress so nicely.” As someone who was trained to dress one level up from the position she was in, she was caught off guard by the idea of her leader telling her to stop dressing up. It was especially shocking because she was wearing jeans in that moment. For many female leaders, how you present yourself signals ambition, readiness to lead and respect in the room. She was now being told to do the opposite.
“My initial reaction…I wanted to know if he was telling my male co-worker who was at the same level and was wearing jeans and a button down every day, that he didn’t need to dress nicely,” she said.
She then decided to experiment—unintentionally. One day she was tired and showed up in the office a bit more casual than normal.
“I wore jeans and a hoodie, you would not believe how many people came up to me and were like, ‘Hey, nice hoodie.’ It was like they were encouraging me to dress down, which I thought was really strange because I was always told to dress for the position you want.
At that moment, she realized her style and how she presented herself was a topic of conversation among her peers. Unlike her male counterparts, she had to balance professionalism while not allowing her clothing choices to become a distraction. It is a sad reality women face regardless of the industry they are a part of.
“My colleagues could wear almost anything they wanted to and get away with it. But I could sense that people would have a different energy around me when I dressed in different styles,” she said.
While she continued dressing up for client-facing meetings and events, she ultimately began wearing jeans on a regular basis. Leaving her to feel like there were some instances where she couldn’t completely be herself. It is a difficult balance many women face. No matter how good you are at your job—what you wear, how you show up, how you present can play a big role in your success.
She recalled one instance when she was traveling with a male colleague and she was wearing a suit to meet with a potential new client. He told her a suit wasn’t necessary, but Kate believed strongly that when you are meeting someone for the first time you always dress the part.
“I told him there is a difference for a man wearing jeans and a blazer and a woman wearing the same. We are judged differently. I can’t believe I had to explain this to him.”
Now running her own business, AxonCatalyx, Kate is resetting her style. She is exploring and working to find a style she can call her own—not necessarily a style the tech industry expects. She is learning it is all about balance and what she calls embracing the other.
“It is a very weird balance right now. It reminds me of many years ago when I was going to Catholic school. I had to wear a uniform every day; my outfit was always predetermined. I didn’t have to think about it very much,” she said. “I sometimes think of my jeans and blazer as my Catholic school uniform. Then I transferred to public school in eighth grade. That is the situation I am in now. I have a bunch of tech uniforms in my closet, and I don’t know what my style is.”
At this point in her career, Kate’s primary focus is being herself.
“Now that I am running my own company, I want to show up authentically as myself. It is a challenge trying to remember what that actually looks like because I spent so much time wearing this uniform that also wasn’t even me. I would even say that when I was told I was too dressed up, it probably wasn’t me. I think that happens to a lot of women.”
With time Kate has learned, sometimes it is okay to stand out. This is the part we don’t talk about enough. When you have spent years fitting into a mold, stepping outside of it can feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable. But that is also where the opportunity is.
Somewhere along the way, too many women figured fitting in was safer than standing out.
“Sometimes you try to be like everyone else in the room, you want to fit in. But you realize that no matter what you do, even if you are wearing the exact same jeans, t-shirt and blazer, you are still different. Maybe the right way to go about it is to embrace the other.”
Embracing the other is not about standing out for the sake of getting someone’s attention, it is all about refusing to shrink to meet outdated expectations. If women are still expected to calibrate their appearance to avoid being “too much” or “not enough,” then the problem isn’t what they are wearing—it is the standard itself.
Fitting in may feel easier in the moment, but it comes at a cost. The real power move is deciding that your presence, your perspective, and yes, your style doesn’t need to be adjusted to make others comfortable. Because the goal was never to fit into the room. It was to change it.